Drowning in Stress? Here's how to swim to the surface...

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Do you want to know what stresses me out the most?

When someone tells me to stop stressing.

I usually respond with “Do you know how I feel right now? Are you inside my body feeling these feelings? No. So fuck off.” Or at least that’s what I want to say…

I’m not sure if It’s just my age, the time I’m at in my life, if I’m just downright hormonal, or if it’s simply that I’m a Cancer that I get stressed out so quickly and so easily, but I hate it. I hate it so much that it stresses me out more. So much so that I end up sat crying my eyes out thinking I’m in this hole of stress from all angles of life and there’s no way out. I can’t find the first step to relaxation because I’m stuck in this circle of just pure negativity. This is called a meltdown, and if you’ve had one recently, well, that’s probably why you’re here reading this.

Stress is a silent killer, it effects your heart, mind, body and soul in so many different ways that you probably haven’t even realised.

For your mind

Dealing with stress may leave you feeling a loss of love towards others, you may feel impatient and short tempered and you feel a loss of control over your life.

For your body

You may be finding it hard to sleep, leading to a lack of energy. You may feel nauseous, find that you’re dealing with headaches more often and waking up with jaw ache from grinding your teeth through the night.

If you’re experiencing any of the above then you’re stressed, and this is how we feel when we’re under a lot of pressure or we feel threatened by something, it’s when we feel as thought we’ve lost control of a part of ourselves or our lives.

So what I’ve done, is write a couple of ways to re-wire the chemicals in your brain to help you relieve those negative feelings. I want you to look at these 4 chemicals as an individual lock that you need to unlock to achieve feeling like your best self again. These 4 chemicals are what influences our thoughts and feelings, it’s these that take the beating when we’re feeling shit, and they also feel the love when we’re feeling positive. Take a look for yourself -

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1. The Winners Lock - Dopamine

Dopamine is a chemical in your brain that allows you to feel pleasure, satisfaction and motivation. When you feel good that you’ve achieved something, you can feel dopamine being released in your brain. To release this lock, you’ll need to trigger this by doing the following -

• Try something new like a sport that you wouldn’t imagine yourself doing.

• Make a small list of things to do that are easily achievable and achieve them in one day.

• Have sex

• Go shopping, treat yourself to some retail therapy

• Bake a cake, or stick some cookies in the oven. That first bite will feel orgasmic.

2. The Messengers Lock - Serotonin

Serotonin is the chemical that carries messages between nerve cells in the brain and throughout your body. She’s the hard worker that affects your moods, sleep, digestion, wound-healing and sexual desire.

To unlock this lock, you’ll need to -

• Meditate

• Exercise

• Maintain a healthy diet

• Take a walk in nature, somewhere you find really beautiful

• Get some sunlight
  

3. The Lovers lock - Oxytocin

Oxytocin is the chemical that is released when you’re feeling those warm, fuzzy feelings usually triggered by social behaviours such as sex, breastfeeding and most commonly, labour. Oxytocin also has the power to effect our emotional responses to things such as trust, empathy, memories and communication. To trigger Oxytocin you’ll need to deal with the small things, such as -

• Holding your partners hand

• Playing with a pet

• Give or receive a massage, physical touch is what feeds the Oxytocin.

• Spend time with friends

• Give a compliment
  

4. The Healers Lock - Endorphins

Endorphins are a chemical released naturally in response to pain or stress, but also in activities such as eating, exercising, or having sex. To unlock the healers lock you must -

• Take a bath with some essential oils and candles

• Watch your favourite comedy programme (I personally recommend Schitts Creek)

• Again, exercise is great for so many things.

• Create music or art

• Go to a dance class, or simply try out a new hobby.
  

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So now you’ve been introduced to the 4 locks of stress, it’s time to try and unlock the door to your best self again. Try 1 thing out a day from each list, no excuses. If you want to write how that experience made you think and feel in that moment in your notes on your phone or in a notebook then even better.

I know it’s hard in those moments to feel positive, as though you’ll never get out of the rut, sometimes it’s a physical thing that you can’t change that’s affecting you, something physical that you cannot change. You're sick of everyone telling you to change your “mindset”, and I’ll be honest, it is that - you do need to change your mindset. But you also need to give yourself a lot of self love during this time. A friend once said to me, 'no-one will ride for you like you ride for yourself', my God is that true. You have to tell these chemicals in your brain that you’re there too, for yourself. Only you and you alone will get yourself through this.

So go ahead and give my lists a go. And make sure you let me know if it worked for you, and even if it didn’t at all, the fact that you were working to help yourself is the first step, and for now that may just be enough...

Anna x